The “God will Provide” Family Plan
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I had a semi-heated debate with my cousin that started off with me saying that my husband wants a child even though we can’t afford to feed ourselves (of course I was joking…we can feed ourselves…most times). Her response was “God will provide”.
There are people who truly believe this blank statement when it comes to family planning. Don’t get me wrong. I do know that God will provide a means for me to not have my child starve, but I don’t think this is a reason to start family planning.
I asked my cousin about situations where fathers refuse to assist the (single, financially-challenged) mothers. Her response; “God will provide. The child won’t starve.” What about those who ARE suffering? God isn’t providing for them?
Too many people recklessly plan with blind hope that things will simply “work out” and they will “cross that bridge when they get there”. Perhaps I am too much of a control freak; I mean I plan every hour of my day, so planning a family must be done with impeccable detail and most precise timing.
What do people really think about this method of life planning and family planning? If “God will provide” so just do it? Why work? Why aspire to anything? Why not simply go forth and populate?
I am so passionate about PLANS and MAPPING one’s life, it seems ludicrous to purposefully plunge into a big commitment as parenthood without a sensible plan. If I am blessed with a child before I reach what I think is my ideal time for a family, I will be elated and have to make the necessary adjustments in my life to provide the best environment for her (I want a girl). But until then, I am putting things in place to ensure the best possible life when that time comes; rather than to hope for the best.
I think the “God will provide” plan is a very archaic and backwards way of thinking. Not smart. Too many dysfunctional families already exist because of this approach to family planning.
Of course one may counter that if we wait on the ‘perfect’ time, it will never happen. It will happen; When I own a house, have a successful venture and feel financially stable (not necessarily rich…just stable). THAT makes sense, to me.
What about you? What is your view on the great debate? The “God Will Provide” family plan?
25. September 2008 at 11:25 pm :
I am on the same page with you Paula when it comes to that “God Will Provide” theory. Then again i think I may be more passionate about it than you are because every time I hear people say it I have the urge to beat them to a pulp and actually visualize myself doing so.
For starters I believe the term is not only archaic but it has become cliché just as how people love to say “I Love You” without fully grasping the concept of love (I must add many of them still haven’t and have no idea what dept and magnitude love has or is). Though “God Will Provide” the good book (and I mean the Bible) also says “God Helps Those Who Help Themselves, therefore the buffoons and imbeciles out there who want to think God is a stupid God do not fully understand or comprehend the first thing about “God Will Provide”. If God realize your ass is stupid enough to make a plan to have children without figure out the logistics of provision for this child how the ass is he going to provide for you and the 3 others you may have, when he knows that you should have stopped at the first one, go back to school and make something of yourself… think about it..why put the cart before the horse…why carry basket fi go ketch water…. I believe many people us the term to convince themselves mentally that their asinine decision was brilliant and in order not to kill themselves because of their ignorance they go “God Will Provide” and viola their idea becomes brilliant and they now feel safe within themselves that they had made a wonderful and empowering life decision. Of course at this point God is walking around smaking his head against the wall wondering why he gave humans intelligence, knowledge and good old common sense…then again my granny always said common sense wasn’t common.
But before I babble and rant and rave further I have to give my own story of “God Will Provide”. My first husband who happens to be the father of my eldest child used this same statement several years ago to me. I can assure you when he said I immediately visualized myself plunging a knife into his chest in slow motion then wiping the blade on the side of my pants and walking away…anyways…at the time I was not yet 25 but married, had a 3 year old and had dropped out of UTECH to follow a man to another country that I had never visited before to live with people I didn’t even know well. We were struggling in every sense of the word and after a night of passion and misinformation about contraceptive (that is another story) I found out I was pregnant. I told him and of course told him the options…I was going out of my mind because I wanted to finish my education, travel the world before I even imagined having another baby. The idiot sat lounging in bed on my burgundy satin sheets (yes I am materialistic at times..shoot me ..who isn’t ) and said “we can have this baby, “god will provide”. I think the floor fell out from under me…my heart stopped beating…my lungs caved in all at once. This statement was coming from a man who didn’t even like going to church much less read the bible. I was livid. To make a long story short I terminated my pregnancy and a few months later got on a flight one Sunday and went back to Jamaica. My daughter is a few months shy of her 13th birthday and the God Will Provide” believer has not supported her financially or emotionally for the past 9 ½ yrs. He calls her rarely and then wonders why they don’t have a relationship but that blame is thrown at me because he claims I have turned her against him. Luckily for me, she is a brilliant child and has figured out on her own exactly what he is about. On that note Paula I end my rant…and to the next person who says God Will Provide have them ask God what he thinks….. As for me… I will keep shouting and ranting GOD WILL PROVIDE IS NOT A FAMILY PLAN/IT IS NOT A LIFE PLAN/IT IS NOT A PLAN…it is a misused expression used by misguided individuals who are missing a few screws upstairs……
25. September 2008 at 11:51 pm :
Simone Simone Simone….thank you! I reaaaaaaally enjoyed reading this!
26. September 2008 at 11:28 am :
I agree with you in part Paula but in some ways I cannot agree with you. I have a son I never planned for it was just serendipity that arose from years of irresponsible behavior. Since he’s been in my life it has changed dramatically, I too dream of world travel but now I want to do it with my son, there is nothing in the world I love more and in fact he has taught me a lot about how to truly love. I understand you apprehension and if you feel this way then maybe you should wait because if you are pressured into it you will be miserable so take your time do it when the time is right for you.
26. September 2008 at 1:56 pm :
Duane, I know that if I become blessed with a child, I would treasure her more than anything. I am just talking about PLANNING to have one with absolutely nothing in place to take care of her. In my case, persons have said: “but she will have many uncles and grandparents to help out!” “God will Provide”.
I don’t agree that one should start a family because they believe that they have a ‘bail out’ plan with God.
But again, if I am blessed with a little one….I WOULD BE ELATED!!!!! But I am planning carefully…verrrrrrrry carefully
26. September 2008 at 2:15 pm :
I’m with you P… it’s called Family Planning because you need to PLAN. What God provides us with is the free will to make our life’s decisions and you cannot go having 9 children when your salary can only support 2 (or in some people’s cases…. none). Even if you feel you can provide the spiritual and emotional support a child needs, there is nothing wrong with wanting to wait to have children until you can provide for them financially as well. Children are a blessing, planned for or not, but I would rather wait until I feel that financially I can give them all the opportunities my parents afforded me, whether it be going to a prep school, the piano lessons I hated (but later appreciated), a weekend in the country, or a ‘field trip’ to Hellshire on Sundays for some fish!
We can pray to God for many things but not to provide food, clothing, shelter and education for our children. That is up to us.
26. September 2008 at 7:55 pm :
Paula,
I agree with you about planning, I think that God provides us with that wisdom. My daughter wasn’t planned on my part, but I know her birth was a part of God’s plan for my life. I think it’s important that we use God as 411 and not 911 in our lives, but I’m a living witness that He will provide for us, especially when we do our parts.