The Pursuit of Happiness
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I have been in a most reflective mood since my birthday last Thursday. As usual, I look back on the past year and weigh in on the progress in the pursuit of my happiness. I thought it best to invite my dear friend, Kirk Nugent - Motivational Speaker, International Success Coach and Author - to be my guest blogger while I take the time to reflect:
The Pursuit of Happiness
I’ve found that most people are governed by the idea that happiness is elusive and is only reserved for a selected few. However, if we closely examine that idea, we’ll find that happiness is by no means elusive; we just tend to attach fleeting ideas to what happiness is and where to find it.
The happiest people that I know are children, yet their happiness is not attached to any long term goal. They seem to get true joy from whatever experience they’re having at that particular moment. They’re really not in search of anyone to complete them. Children seem to appreciate the simple pleasures of life, as we get older we tend to move away from that. If a child is feeling hungry, a simple breast being stuck in his/her mouth, and instantly he/she has achieved bliss.
As adults, we’ve adopted the idea that happiness must be deferred and it must yield to more prudent and practical practices. So we tell ourselves:
“I’ll be happy after my divorce.”
“I’ll be happy once the kids are off to college.”
“I’ll be happy once I get my promotion.”
“I’ll be happy once I lose 20 pounds.”
What we’ve forgotten is that happiness is an inside job. Until we’re happy with the person that we are on the inside, no external thing or person will ever bring us true joy. Sure there will be fleeting moments of what appears to be happiness, but true joy comes from constantly working on being the best you that you can be. True joy comes when you’re on purpose, consciously working on your spiritual growth.
The other key to happiness is so simple that most people go to their grave and never get this concept.
IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY STOP ENGAGING IN ACTIVITIES THAT MAKE YOU UNHAPPY!
Too many of us have jobs that are held but hated, relationships that are tolerated. End these life sapping experiences today. Yea, yea, yea, I can hear you, “Oh Kirk it’s not that easy.” I never said it was easy, but it’s certainly is possible. Make a commitment to be happy and start to consciously move in that direction. If you’re in a dead end relationship, don’t go pointing fingers at your mate. That will only bring you more misery, rather take a pro active solution and ask yourself, “What is it about me that I need to change or work on so that I can stop ATTRACTING these low energies into my life?”
If it’s the job that’s getting you down, ask yourself, ”What line of work would bring me absolute bliss?” Then start looking for that, or begin by taking classes so that you can be qualified for such a position. No one is coming to save you; you have to participate in your own rescue.
True happiness is not affected by the rising cost of gasoline, but rather true happiness is grateful to have a car that still runs. In short, ‘Happiness’ is not something to be pursued; it is a state of mind to be practiced. The first step is gratitude…if you’re reading this you’re more fortunate than most of the inhabitants of the world…you my friend have access to a computer, not only that, you’re literate!
Start with being grateful for EVERY experience, try not to label them as good or bad, but ask, “What is the purpose of this experience, what is life trying to teach me.” Happiness is being YOU, whoever the hell that is, but at the same time ALLOWING others to be who they are. (Whoever the hell that might be)
You’re not here to save the world, allow your fellow human beings to grow at their own rate. Remember that the easiest way to make an enemy is to try and change somebody. So be happy with who you are, be grateful for your experiences and allow others to be whoever they wish to be.
Adopt this simple formula and in no time, you too my friend will find yourself sucking from the nipple of bliss. (Pun intended)
Kirk Nugent
Kirk Nugent
International Success Coach
Author, Speaker, Trainer
2005 & 2006 Best Lecture of the Year, awarded by Winthrop University
2004 Best Performing Artist, by Association for The Promotion of Campus Activities
Don’t think I could have said it better! I simply have to reinforce the simple and powerful statement:
IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY STOP ENGAGING IN ACTIVITIES THAT MAKE YOU UNHAPPY!
Have a HAPPY day!
25. September 2008 at 11:57 pm :
Loved the article, it could not have been better said Paula, when i grow up I want to be just like you :). Lets take a quick look at “the pursuit of happiness” from another perspective. What we also have to realise Paula is that so many people are going after what they perceive happiness to be what is dictated in the media. The reality of our lives as humans is that we are constantly being fed/bombarded with information from the media, therapists, and a host of other groups, individuals or mediums who define happiness for us. So between the stores advertising, billboards, newspaper articles and what we see on television or hear on the radio we begin to re-define happiness. It now becomes a concept..instead of a state of mind. Suddenly we begin to believe that because we dont have the new flat panel HDTV we cant be happy, because we dont have steak for dinner, dine out at fine restaurants we are not happy. I remember sometime ago I dined at an expensive South Beach restaurant….wracked up a cool bill of almost $400 and left telling myself I was happy and it was a wonderful evening, I must add in all honesty a few weeks ago I went to a mcdonalds with my girlfriend and my daughter…we spent a total of $8.73 left 2hrs later feeling totally loving life. I was exhilarated. I spent an evening with my husband on the beach with a bottle of cheap wine ($4.99), cheese and crackers from the dollar store, tucked in a plastic bag (no coach, no doone & burke, no kathy van zealand) barefooted (no BCBG, steve madden or fratelli rossetti)wearing a $2.00 dress I had grabbed from a clearance rack in a little corner store(not my rocawear or baby phat or anne klein) and in those few hours and days after I felt as though I had a new lease on life and I was ready to shout it to the world,…would the rest of the world see or understand it…maybe they would, maybe the wealthy elite of society would snub me…including the want to be’s, have beens, could have been and the would have beens..but i didnt or dont care….I was wonderfully happy.
Like you rightfully people need to get the concept of “IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY STOP ENGAGING IN ACTIVITIES THAT MAKE YOU UNHAPPY!”. The question is though do we want to define happiness as a concept…..Its my personal believe that because it has become defined as concept, we (meaning society and its forces) have made it seem as though it is tangible (it can be bought, collected, packed away) and that my friend is where the pursuit of happiness begins…….
26. September 2008 at 12:17 am :
Wow Simone. Well said. I (have no choice but to) find happiness in the simplest things(LOL). At one point in my life I was ‘unhappy’ because I didn’t have expensive clothes, hadn’t bought a house, couldn’t get a weekly mani and pedi…
I stopped and evaluated what REALLY would make me happy. And that is exactly what I am doing now, pursuing my REAL happiness. It started with shedding everything negative in my circle and only inviting the good.
Thanks for the great comment!
26. September 2008 at 1:12 am :
anytime paula..when i read your blogs its an opportunity to use my brain cells and respond without using “yes” or no responses it also takes me away from the two lovers in my life (procrastinator and laziness), they refuse to leave me alone