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Aundra Dyke
I believe in moving forward and upward at all times. Any stopping must be to smell the roses before we move forward to find the garden in another location. Many times life throws us curve balls and places us on a road we didn’t plan to be on. It wasn’t a part of our ‘map’. We become stagnant and frozen…
…frozen in fear, in doubt…
BUT THIS IS THE TIME TO START MOVING!
Aundra Dyke is a most inspiring woman I met on Twitter, Her site is reflective and filled with wonderful motivational tips and food for thought. She is my guest blogger today speaking on being brave and moving forward in the face of fear. Enjoy her words…I know I did!!!
Aundra:
If we move beyond where we are the past cannot follow………
Have you ever felt stalled, paused, stuck, resting or waiting? I’m sure you’ve gotten that feeling of not moving forward or even shifting at the moment. Some of us spend weeks and days reflecting on our lives, we lose sleep over it, obsess over it, analyze and re-analyze. Sometimes we come up with half-way decent answers and other times we find ourselves at a complete loss for words. The private meetings we seem to hold in our heads can lead to confusion and chaos.
I’m convinced that this anxiety running through my life is the tension between what I “should be” and what I am. My anxiety doesn’t come from thinking about the future but from wanting to control it. It seems to begin whenever I smuggle into my mind an expectation about how I or others should be. It is the tension between my desire to control the world and the recognition that I can’t.
It is never a good idea to bank on what we may have tomorrow. It makes even less sense to dwell on what we had yesterday. The only thing that really matters is what we can do right now.
One of our greatest stress inducers in our life is tomorrow, for it is the unknown. We tend to worry if “it” will happen, if “it” would happen, what if “it” does happen. Then we spend time planning for what may never come. We do that because we think we know the past. We remember it so well, particularly the pain, the dark days and the unpleasantness we’ve seen. Most of us are stuck in the memory, ideals, pain or trauma of the past. At times we hold the people around us responsible for the things they did to us in yesteryear.
We also spend our present time and energy protecting the future from the past. We fail to realize one is over the other as yet to come. What we know is now and what we have complete control over is—- now. Try to remember that nothing can be promised, nor can we own what is no longer. If we do our best in this moment, we have no time to worry about what may come or has gone.
Life doesn’t have to be a strain or a struggle, when the time comes for growth and change, we MUST have the courage and faith to let go.
Whatever leaves my life makes room for something better
This post was submitted by Aundra Dyke
www.keystomykarma.com
Are you facing a similar challenge in your own life? Are you at a crossroads or on a road you didn’t think you would find yourself? Share your story and your decision to MOVE FORWARD!
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I had a semi-heated debate with my cousin that started off with me saying that my husband wants a child even though we can’t afford to feed ourselves (of course I was joking…we can feed ourselves…most times). Her response was “God will provide”.
There are people who truly believe this blank statement when it comes to family planning. Don’t get me wrong. I do know that God will provide a means for me to not have my child starve, but I don’t think this is a reason to start family planning.
I asked my cousin about situations where fathers refuse to assist the (single, financially-challenged) mothers. Her response; “God will provide. The child won’t starve.” What about those who ARE suffering? God isn’t providing for them?
Too many people recklessly plan with blind hope that things will simply “work out” and they will “cross that bridge when they get there”. Perhaps I am too much of a control freak; I mean I plan every hour of my day, so planning a family must be done with impeccable detail and most precise timing.
What do people really think about this method of life planning and family planning? If “God will provide” so just do it? Why work? Why aspire to anything? Why not simply go forth and populate?
I am so passionate about PLANS and MAPPING one’s life, it seems ludicrous to purposefully plunge into a big commitment as parenthood without a sensible plan. If I am blessed with a child before I reach what I think is my ideal time for a family, I will be elated and have to make the necessary adjustments in my life to provide the best environment for her (I want a girl). But until then, I am putting things in place to ensure the best possible life when that time comes; rather than to hope for the best.
I think the “God will provide” plan is a very archaic and backwards way of thinking. Not smart. Too many dysfunctional families already exist because of this approach to family planning.
Of course one may counter that if we wait on the ‘perfect’ time, it will never happen. It will happen; When I own a house, have a successful venture and feel financially stable (not necessarily rich…just stable). THAT makes sense, to me.
What about you? What is your view on the great debate? The “God Will Provide” family plan?
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“The tragedy is that so many people look for self-confidence and self-respect everywhere except within themselves, and so they fail in their search.” Dr Nathaniel Branden
In all aspects of our lives we find ourselves evaluating our worth. Are we worthy of this clique of friends, do we fit into a certain school, are we good enough for that guy or girl…
Our esteem and self-worth are tied into a number of factors. Family status, money, career, education, experience even fashion sense all play roles in our feeling of worthiness (or worthlessness) at different stages in life. We put a value on our selves.
In the business world the same challenges exist. We must rate ourselves and express this value to our colleagues and employers. Self-employed entrepreneurs often have to set rates that reflect the worth of the company and the products and services offered. There is a popular story of a gentleman who went into a consulting business after leaving his job of many years. After finishing a presentation to a potential client, the VP of Operations of the company invited him in to discuss the terms of agreement.
Of course the gentleman expected a long, wordy document with legal jargon but instead got a single sheet of paper with the following 4 words:
Rate….. Hours…… Other Conditions…….
Being taken off guard, the gentleman said he will take the going rate of the competitors; but the VP insisted he wrote a quote.
Several months into the project, after good results, the VP decided to share a tip with the gentleman:
“I know that you have not been in business for yourself before, but whether it is your own business or a job, you must know your worth all the time. We were willing to pay you twice as much because that is what we had assessed in terms of what you could do to save our biggest customer from moving away.” He continued, “So now that we have been able to regain our customer’s confidence in us with your help, how much are you worth?” And he again gave him a piece of paper to fill up. It had the same four words as the first one. The gentleman had poor ‘worth’ ethic (sure he didn’t after!)
My husband is one of the most talented music producers and audio mixing engineers I know. He is extremely knowledgeable but refuses to add audio mixing to his list of services offered by our music production company. He doesn’t think he is ‘good enough’… doesn’t think his skills are of enough worth to be paid for. It’s great to be a perfectionist (speaking as one myself) but after a while we need to realize our strengths and not be afraid to explore new areas of our business. This is poor ‘worth’ ethic.
As a business owner or an employee; you must regularly do an analysis of the portfolio of your capabilities and services (talents) and determine what it is worth. This allows you to:
· Assess your strengths and explore opportunities to expand the business
· Improve on the weaknesses, increasing your company’s worth.
· Create confidence in the consumers and clients about the quality of the products and services (coupled with reputation, of course)
· Put yourself in a position for promotions
Always remember the importance of good “worth” ethic!!!
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I have been in a most reflective mood since my birthday last Thursday. As usual, I look back on the past year and weigh in on the progress in the pursuit of my happiness. I thought it best to invite my dear friend, Kirk Nugent - Motivational Speaker, International Success Coach and Author - to be my guest blogger while I take the time to reflect:
The Pursuit of Happiness
I’ve found that most people are governed by the idea that happiness is elusive and is only reserved for a selected few. However, if we closely examine that idea, we’ll find that happiness is by no means elusive; we just tend to attach fleeting ideas to what happiness is and where to find it.
The happiest people that I know are children, yet their happiness is not attached to any long term goal. They seem to get true joy from whatever experience they’re having at that particular moment. They’re really not in search of anyone to complete them. Children seem to appreciate the simple pleasures of life, as we get older we tend to move away from that. If a child is feeling hungry, a simple breast being stuck in his/her mouth, and instantly he/she has achieved bliss.
As adults, we’ve adopted the idea that happiness must be deferred and it must yield to more prudent and practical practices. So we tell ourselves:
“I’ll be happy after my divorce.”
“I’ll be happy once the kids are off to college.”
“I’ll be happy once I get my promotion.”
“I’ll be happy once I lose 20 pounds.”
What we’ve forgotten is that happiness is an inside job. Until we’re happy with the person that we are on the inside, no external thing or person will ever bring us true joy. Sure there will be fleeting moments of what appears to be happiness, but true joy comes from constantly working on being the best you that you can be. True joy comes when you’re on purpose, consciously working on your spiritual growth.
The other key to happiness is so simple that most people go to their grave and never get this concept.
IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY STOP ENGAGING IN ACTIVITIES THAT MAKE YOU UNHAPPY!
Too many of us have jobs that are held but hated, relationships that are tolerated. End these life sapping experiences today. Yea, yea, yea, I can hear you, “Oh Kirk it’s not that easy.” I never said it was easy, but it’s certainly is possible. Make a commitment to be happy and start to consciously move in that direction. If you’re in a dead end relationship, don’t go pointing fingers at your mate. That will only bring you more misery, rather take a pro active solution and ask yourself, “What is it about me that I need to change or work on so that I can stop ATTRACTING these low energies into my life?”
If it’s the job that’s getting you down, ask yourself, ”What line of work would bring me absolute bliss?” Then start looking for that, or begin by taking classes so that you can be qualified for such a position. No one is coming to save you; you have to participate in your own rescue.
True happiness is not affected by the rising cost of gasoline, but rather true happiness is grateful to have a car that still runs. In short, ‘Happiness’ is not something to be pursued; it is a state of mind to be practiced. The first step is gratitude…if you’re reading this you’re more fortunate than most of the inhabitants of the world…you my friend have access to a computer, not only that, you’re literate!
Start with being grateful for EVERY experience, try not to label them as good or bad, but ask, “What is the purpose of this experience, what is life trying to teach me.” Happiness is being YOU, whoever the hell that is, but at the same time ALLOWING others to be who they are. (Whoever the hell that might be)
You’re not here to save the world, allow your fellow human beings to grow at their own rate. Remember that the easiest way to make an enemy is to try and change somebody. So be happy with who you are, be grateful for your experiences and allow others to be whoever they wish to be.
Adopt this simple formula and in no time, you too my friend will find yourself sucking from the nipple of bliss. (Pun intended)
Kirk Nugent
http://www.kirknugent.com/
Kirk Nugent
International Success Coach
Author, Speaker, Trainer
2005 & 2006 Best Lecture of the Year, awarded by Winthrop University
2004 Best Performing Artist, by Association for The Promotion of Campus Activities
Don’t think I could have said it better! I simply have to reinforce the simple and powerful statement:
IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY STOP ENGAGING IN ACTIVITIES THAT MAKE YOU UNHAPPY!
Have a HAPPY day!
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I was doing my usual morning reading and came across the Letter to the Editor in the Jamaica Gleaner. Dr Marcie Hamilton expressed concern about a sexily clad 13 year old being a finalist in a model search competition. Looking at the teen in her bikini, I had flashbacks of my mother picking out my one piece swimsuit and making it brilliantly clear that I can wear a bikini when I was an adult and not before!
Age restriction is an ongoing debate in the world of fashion, but with the statistical rise (and increasing awareness) of eating disorders and other psychological issues that seem to plague the industry, there has been strict enforcement of bans on underage catwalk models in recent times. Paris, Milan and later Brazil are a few places that have defined the minimum age for catwalk modeling as 16 years old. So is this what we define then as the ‘acceptable’ age for a teen to be a sex symbol? Are these 16 year old girls allowed to pose nude or be scantily dressed in adult clothing? Are they, at this age, responsible enough to be ogled and judged by (often much older) gentlemen (and women) while maintaining confidence and a realistic grasp on life as a teenager?
What about the startling increase in cases of pedophilia globally? Is a 16 year old sex symbol not fueling the disorder? The modeling and fashion industries seem wrought with very adult issues, much more pressure than the already tricky high school issues typical teenagers face daily. Can a teenager at ages 13, 14, 15, 16…17 even, handle these problems while still maintaining the innocence of childhood? Or are they forced into premature adulthood? Parents often live vicariously through their children and are more that elated to have daughters involved in the glitzy world of glamour; often oblivious to the potential long-term harmful effects this may have.
What can be done in an industry where your best years have already passed at age 20? Does being a fashion model automatically mean you are a sex symbol or is it just art? And is a 13, 14, 16 year old sex symbol model any different from a teen actress? The Miley Cyrus ‘scandal’ has brought the issue of teen sex symbols to the fore in recent times. Teen models and actresses are no new phenomena, so what is the secret behind those who seem to be able to separate the very adult world from their personal life..and even when this is successfully done, is it still right? When is young too young to be a sex symbol?
Here are some of the comments I got about the topic:
Nykkiicia WordPlay Cion
Many youngsters get involved in competition such as this and it’s ultimately the parents’ choice whether or not to allow them to do so. I may agree where the clothes she is required to wear are concerned but because she is 13 doesn’t mean she’ll end up a sexed up, drugged out anorexic! Simply being at school in today’s society is a risk since there are overwhelming pressures there to have sex and be thin and ‘fabulous’. Why not just home school all our children??? I believe if the parents are there for every step of the journey she is about take, she will be just fine - her biggest risk is the type of parents she has.
Rees Hines
I think the main difference between kids now and as 15 years ago is that they grow up way too fast. Children are exposed to too much too fast and somewhere along the line forget to enjoy being a kid. Looking at the picture, I think it’s too much, however i agree that it is ultimately the parent’s choice. If her parents see nothing wrong with it then we can only hope that she is mature enough to deal with the adult issues this competition brings. Personally, if it was my 13 year old it would be a cold day in hell before she’d be doing that competition.
Peter Wright
Isn’t this soft child porn? I don’t know what goes through people’s mind but if I were an agency, I wouldn’t be putting a teenager so young in a bikini and letting her model… the pedophiles must love this.
What are your views on the issue?
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According to Steve Pavlina (Personal Development Guru- Steve Pavlina ); “The Law of Attraction simply says that you attract into your life whatever you think about. Your dominant thoughts will find a way to manifest”.
The release of the DVD, The Secret caused a ‘law of attraction frenzy’ amongst the population. According to the proponents, the Law of Attraction has 4 basic principles:
- Know our desires and ask for it.
- Focus our thoughts on the things we desire with enthusiasm or gratitude.
- Feel and behave as if we already acquired it.
- Be open to receiving it.
I am a great believer of the law of attraction. Why wouldn’t I be? I am living proof that it is true!! Let me share with you some stories of the law working in my own life.
Story 1:
While working as a medical technology intern at our regional hospital in Jamaica, I heard an announcement over the PA system that our hospital CEO received the national award for “Boss of the Year”. I soon found out that the CEO was 28 Years old… impressive achievements for such a young man. I wanted to network with him and learn his story and secrets to his success. There was to be a meeting with the hospital CEO and the Laboratory staff and I decided to introduce myself to him there.
Location Location Location
The CEO, Everton Anderson, sat at the head of the conference table and I positioned myself in the center of the long side of the table…right in his natural line of vision. I was listening keenly to his address. Speakers tend to seek an attentive listener to make eye contact with, so he found me and was often speaking directly to me (most of the others appeared disinterested).
During the seemingly unending debate between the two departments, I raised my hand and made a suggestion:
“Why don’t you create a position or appoint a person to carry out a laboratory investigation and create a strategic plan to improve the operations of the pathology laboratory?”
He thought it was a fantastic idea and asked; “why don’t you do it?”
“But I am an intern…leaving soon.”
“Doesn’t matter. Do it and we will see how it works out.”
BINGO! I was making myself recognized and indispensible…in the event that I wanted to apply for a fulltime position after the internship period. Since then I had to meet with the CEO to share my ideas and results and my strategic plan was well appreciated. I learned a lot from Everton Anderson and use many of the principles even today.
Story 2
My dad is my hero. I am forever ‘daddy’s little girl’. He and my mom introduced me to leadership and motivation through Dale Carnegie books, Les Brown cassettes (yes, cassettes…you know…finish side one and turn over to side B to continue listening!) He also introduced me to Kirk Nugent’s CD.
Kirk Nugent is a motivational speaker, poet, author, born in Jamaica and based in Florida. I fell in love with his Pursue Your Passion CD. Fast-forward a few years; I created my MySpace site and wrote as my heroes – my dad, Kirk Nugent, Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry “anyone who overcame the obstacles to achieve their goals”.
A few months ago (2 years after having this on my profile) I received a message from Kirk Nugent telling me he loved the work I was doing in the entertainment industry. I was excited to receive such a message of laud from someone whom I admired so much. We began communicating and sharing ideas and he eventually asked me to do some promotional work with him in the Caribbean market.
WOWWWWWW!!!
Even better…I earned mention on his revised CD “I Just Want to Testify”. We collaborate often and he is now a contributor to my YaadNoyz Newsletter and upcoming online magazine, YaadNoyz Magazine.
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See? I put it out there to one day meet people with whom I can network and learn and share my own entrepreneurship and leadership ideas. The Law of Attraction is real. I am not without my disappointments, but I still stand by the fact that positive thought manifests itself in success, achievements and self fulfillment.
The Breakdown
There is a process to it too. What really happens (this is my own break down of the law) is that once we focus on something we want; our mind starts to calculate how to get that desire met. Then we start to put those thoughts into actions, resulting in us achieving what we want without consciously calculating how to do it. When we couple our desires with conscious and strategic planning, we can achieve almost anything.
On the flip side, if we believe we cannot achieve a certain feat or desire, our mind ‘believes’ it and makes no effort to get it; instead it starts to accept the fact that it cannot satiate the desire and aim for a lesser feat…the mind ‘settles’.
I have never been a ‘settler’; I strive for only the best! I strive for complete and total happiness and each obstacle only serves to strengthen my character and makes my future biography that much more interesting (smile).
I would love to hear stories of the Law of Attraction working in your own life.
